{"id":1975,"date":"2021-11-08T04:53:33","date_gmt":"2021-11-08T04:53:33","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/vor.org.ng\/?p=1975"},"modified":"2022-08-11T20:16:07","modified_gmt":"2022-08-11T20:16:07","slug":"the-power-of-saying-i-am-sorry","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/ictnetworldltd.com\/newvor\/2021\/11\/08\/the-power-of-saying-i-am-sorry\/","title":{"rendered":"The power of saying \u2018I am sorry\u2019"},"content":{"rendered":"

By Martins Oloja
\nAs it is now quite clear that our present crop of leaders at all levels may have hardened their hearts about the expediency of rebuilding Nigeria at this time, I think we should begin to relive some redemption songs for those who would like to be part of the next dispensation of leadership recruitment. It appears that no one has been able to assail the assertion of the iconic Chinua Achebe since 1983 that, \u2018the trouble with Nigeria is simply and squarely a failure of leadership.\u2019
\nI mean here that we should begin to look at some classics that didn\u2019t fail some of our legends before civilisation kicked us in the face. Here is the thing, as we continue to grope from darkness to darkness, we need to share some values that can shape our character as a nation. I wrote here the other day on the \u2018power of character,\u2019 which some icons actually say \u2018is destiny\u2019. Yes, \u2018character is destiny.\u2019 I have tested some of the classics and I have found them profoundly powerful enough to shape and even fulfil our destiny as the most populous black nation on earth.
\nComing to the brass tacks, I mean we should begin to share with our leaders and managers of our enterprises that there are some simple but significant things and \u2018magic words\u2019 they need to embrace to calm frayed nerves in and out of seasons, in good and bad times. It is a time to tell our leaders that at such a time as this, they need to swallow their pride and vanity and imbibe a habit of apologising to the people they lead or manage. And here is why.
\nIt is now getting clearer every day that our nation can\u2019t make progress if we continue to retain the crop of leaders we have been recycling since 1999. Our leaders hardly understand the most important sentence in the constitution that: \u2018The security and welfare of the people shall be the primary purpose of government\u2026\u2019 Most of our leaders care only about their security votes as \u2018slush funds\u2019 to take care of their future including winning elections and re-elections. They hurt the people every day. Through their callous acts, they hurt all the families, old and young. They hardly pay salaries and pensions in most states and local governments. Our leaders whose recklessness has triggered import-dependent economy hardly reflect on the consequences of high prices of food items and (consumer) essential goods at this time. As I was saying (in the last two weeks), our leaders are also using dubious means to extort even poor motorbike riders by collecting multiple taxes from them every day even in Lagos and Abuja. They don\u2019t care about what happens to the poor and vulnerable, Frantz Fanon calls, \u201cthe wretched of the earth.\u201d Our leaders violate even our organic laws to the extent that the Supreme Court claimed last week that our leaders are \u2018taking impunity too far.\u2019 In Africa\u2019s most populous nation, the Senate can reject a president\u2019s nominee but the president can call the bluff of the upper house and allow the rejected candidate to begin work and complete some tenure of even five years in office. This is Nigeria where the Chief Justice can be removed by a non-judicial officer and head of an administrative tribunal who doesn\u2019t need to have recourse to the constitutional provisions on how a CJN can be removed. This is a country where leaders continue to borrow for consumption and they explain such recklessness with curious simplicity without recourse to the effects of the debt management on extant budgets. This is a place where our leaders don\u2019t have to build or equip hospitals and schools for the people as long as they and family members can obtain visa to be treated and educated abroad. This is a nation where leaders who come fourth even in a governorship election can become the winner by the power of some curious electoral justice system. This is a jurisdiction where the elite hardly pay taxes and the same elite collect multiple taxes from poor market women and hungry taxi drivers every day. This is an economy where the federal legislators individually earn higher than the president, vice president, and the ministers of even the richest countries in the world and there is no strong institution to ask why. This is Nigeria, which harbours an economic capital that has been classified as second most stressful city in the world, second only to Mumbai in India. This is a unique country where soldiers are deployed for internal security for which they die almost every day when its police operatives are deployed to the roads to extort citizens and secure big men at home. This is a place where Supreme Court\u2019s Justices homes can be raided and even doors brought down in the night with no one to take responsibility when no piece of evidence is tendered during trials of such justices. This is a jurisdiction with a complex diversity where a leader can defy constitutional provisions for federal character and appoint all the public officers from his or her own region of the country and there will be no question about consequences for such recklessness. Here is a country where regional leaders can appoint their family members as tax collectors for states at very high rates of reward for the collectors and there is no institution strong enough to ask questions about financial impropriety.
\nThere is, therefore, a sense in which we the people can claim that most of our leaders at all levels have sinned and come short of the glory of God and man. They have mismanaged our economy to the extent that they can\u2019t provide welfare for the people. There is double \u2018wahala\u2019 (tragedy) for the same people, as the state cannot provide security for residents of even the capital of the unfortunate federation.
\nThat is why I feel that our leaders should seek the face of God by asking for His grace to understand the power of expediency of apologising to the people at this time. There is tension in the land. There is hunger in the land. There is unbearable inflation in this place. There is the insufferable level of corruption they promised to eliminate since 2015. What is worse, it seems to the people that rampaging corruption is fuelling rising insecurity nurtured by terrorism they want us to call banditry. There is, therefore, no doubt, our leaders need to understand that they should repent from their increasingly unbearable wickedness. They need to realise the power of apologising to the people at this time. Here again, are the reasons:
\nSaying \u2018I Am Sorry\u2019
\nSAYING you\u2019re sorry is called apologising. When you apologise, you\u2019re telling someone that you\u2019re sorry for the hurt you caused, even if you didn\u2019t do it deliberately. An apology is a statement that has two key elements; it shows your remorse over your actions and an acknowledgement of the hurt that your actions have caused to someone else.
\nCol. Sanjeet Sirohi, an Indian motivational speaker and soft skill trainer says, \u2018I am sorry\u2019 is the most powerful sentence in the world.
\nWhy Should We Apologise?
\nTHERE are many reasons why we should make a sincere apology when we have hurt someone unnecessarily, or have made a mistake. First, an apology opens a dialogue between yourself and the other person you seem to have hurt. Second, when we apologise, we also acknowledge that we engaged in unacceptable behaviour. This helps us rebuild trust and re-establish our relationship with the other person. Third, what\u2019s more, when we admit that the situation was our fault, we restore dignity to the person we hurt. In the main, a sincere apology shows that we are taking responsibility for our actions.
\nWhy Apologies Can Be Difficult
\nDESPITE all these positive reasons, why do some people still find it difficult to apologise?
\nIn the first place, it takes courage to apologise. When you admit that you were wrong, it puts you in a vulnerable position, which can open you up to attack or blame. According to Sirobi, you may be so full of shame and embarrassment over your actions that you can\u2019t bring yourself to face the other person.
\nWhat is more, you may find yourself following some advice that \u201cnever apologise, never explain.\u201d It\u2019s up to you if you want to be arrogant and damn some consequences.
\nThis has been proven: even if what happened was an accident or you did something you didn\u2019t mean to do, you would probably still feel sorry if you knew the other person\u2019s feelings were hurt. This happens when you have a strong conscience. After apologising, you might feel a little better (the other person probably will, too).
\nYou may ask somehow if apologising can fix everything. This is another feeling but saying, \u2018I\u2019m sorry\u2019 when you need to is the right thing to do. It does a lot of good. But by itself, it might not be enough to make everything all better again. Sometimes along with an apology, a person needs to fix the mistake or promise to do better. Sirobi agrees with this line of thought.
\nIn my journey through life, I have seen family members refusing to talk to each other for years after an argument just because neither side wants to be the first to let go of their pride and \u201cbreak down and apologise.\u201d But who decided apologising was a sign of weakness? We need to reflect on our sense of pride and vanity and sometimes realise that we have reached a day and age where showing emotional vulnerability can be viewed as a positive rather than a negative quality.
\nPeople are becoming more aware of ideas like empathy and sensitivity, and everywhere we are being encouraged to talk about our feelings, to seek help, and to connect with others. Gone are the days of keeping everything bottled up inside to suffer alone.
\nAs we move forward in this time of self-knowledge and self-discovery, it\u2019s vital to acquire the ability to recognise our own mistakes. People in authority in Nigeria need to be told to realise that nobody is perfect and so they are not perfect. They need to realise at this juncture that they cause emotional pain to citizens of this country every day. The trouble, however, lies in their refusal or failure to acknowledge that they have done the people some wrong.
\nThis is, therefore, a time to tell our leaders in Nigeria that they need to apologise to us, as they have hurt us a great deal through poor leadership to the citizens and indeed the black race. Our leaders should swallow their pride and vanity for them to realise that even national apologies can be a big deal. When they offer that, they acknowledge the past to help move everyone forward. We may need to explore more about this context (when nations apologise. But Nigeria\u2019s Attorney General and Minister of Justice, Abubakar Malami should apologise first to Justice Mary Odili and the nation on the recent despicable raid on her residence. That apology can be a significant balm to heal some wounds at this time.
\nSource:The Guardian <\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

By Martins Oloja As it is now quite clear that our present crop of leaders at all levels may have hardened their…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":3193,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[737],"tags":[683,684,685],"class_list":["post-1975","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-articles","tag-col-sanjeet-sirohi","tag-leaders","tag-leadership"],"yoast_head":"\nThe power of saying \u2018I am sorry\u2019 - Voice of Reason<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"http:\/\/ictnetworldltd.com\/newvor\/2021\/11\/08\/the-power-of-saying-i-am-sorry\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"The power of saying \u2018I am sorry\u2019 - Voice of Reason\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"By Martins Oloja As it is now quite clear that our present crop of leaders at all levels may have hardened their…\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"http:\/\/ictnetworldltd.com\/newvor\/2021\/11\/08\/the-power-of-saying-i-am-sorry\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"Voice of Reason\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2021-11-08T04:53:33+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:modified_time\" content=\"2022-08-11T20:16:07+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:image\" content=\"http:\/\/ictnetworldltd.com\/newvor\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/11\/BA78FBD7-F50F-428D-9606-B6F8CF0E5AC5.png\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:width\" content=\"375\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:height\" content=\"210\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:type\" content=\"image\/png\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"admin\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:label1\" content=\"Written by\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data1\" content=\"admin\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:label2\" content=\"Est. reading time\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data2\" content=\"9 minutes\" \/>\n<script type=\"application\/ld+json\" class=\"yoast-schema-graph\">{\"@context\":\"https:\/\/schema.org\",\"@graph\":[{\"@type\":\"WebPage\",\"@id\":\"http:\/\/ictnetworldltd.com\/newvor\/2021\/11\/08\/the-power-of-saying-i-am-sorry\/\",\"url\":\"http:\/\/ictnetworldltd.com\/newvor\/2021\/11\/08\/the-power-of-saying-i-am-sorry\/\",\"name\":\"The power of saying \u2018I am sorry\u2019 - Voice of Reason\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"http:\/\/ictnetworldltd.com\/newvor\/#website\"},\"primaryImageOfPage\":{\"@id\":\"http:\/\/ictnetworldltd.com\/newvor\/2021\/11\/08\/the-power-of-saying-i-am-sorry\/#primaryimage\"},\"image\":{\"@id\":\"http:\/\/ictnetworldltd.com\/newvor\/2021\/11\/08\/the-power-of-saying-i-am-sorry\/#primaryimage\"},\"thumbnailUrl\":\"http:\/\/ictnetworldltd.com\/newvor\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/11\/BA78FBD7-F50F-428D-9606-B6F8CF0E5AC5.png\",\"datePublished\":\"2021-11-08T04:53:33+00:00\",\"dateModified\":\"2022-08-11T20:16:07+00:00\",\"author\":{\"@id\":\"http:\/\/ictnetworldltd.com\/newvor\/#\/schema\/person\/91559f4e2f3e76b97df68b1ffb23afa4\"},\"breadcrumb\":{\"@id\":\"http:\/\/ictnetworldltd.com\/newvor\/2021\/11\/08\/the-power-of-saying-i-am-sorry\/#breadcrumb\"},\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"ReadAction\",\"target\":[\"http:\/\/ictnetworldltd.com\/newvor\/2021\/11\/08\/the-power-of-saying-i-am-sorry\/\"]}]},{\"@type\":\"ImageObject\",\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"@id\":\"http:\/\/ictnetworldltd.com\/newvor\/2021\/11\/08\/the-power-of-saying-i-am-sorry\/#primaryimage\",\"url\":\"http:\/\/ictnetworldltd.com\/newvor\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/11\/BA78FBD7-F50F-428D-9606-B6F8CF0E5AC5.png\",\"contentUrl\":\"http:\/\/ictnetworldltd.com\/newvor\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/11\/BA78FBD7-F50F-428D-9606-B6F8CF0E5AC5.png\",\"width\":375,\"height\":210},{\"@type\":\"BreadcrumbList\",\"@id\":\"http:\/\/ictnetworldltd.com\/newvor\/2021\/11\/08\/the-power-of-saying-i-am-sorry\/#breadcrumb\",\"itemListElement\":[{\"@type\":\"ListItem\",\"position\":1,\"name\":\"Home\",\"item\":\"http:\/\/ictnetworldltd.com\/newvor\/\"},{\"@type\":\"ListItem\",\"position\":2,\"name\":\"The power of saying \u2018I am sorry\u2019\"}]},{\"@type\":\"WebSite\",\"@id\":\"http:\/\/ictnetworldltd.com\/newvor\/#website\",\"url\":\"http:\/\/ictnetworldltd.com\/newvor\/\",\"name\":\"Voice of Reason\",\"description\":\"Your No. 1 Source of Mind Blowing Articles\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"SearchAction\",\"target\":{\"@type\":\"EntryPoint\",\"urlTemplate\":\"http:\/\/ictnetworldltd.com\/newvor\/?s={search_term_string}\"},\"query-input\":\"required name=search_term_string\"}],\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\"},{\"@type\":\"Person\",\"@id\":\"http:\/\/ictnetworldltd.com\/newvor\/#\/schema\/person\/91559f4e2f3e76b97df68b1ffb23afa4\",\"name\":\"admin\",\"image\":{\"@type\":\"ImageObject\",\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"@id\":\"http:\/\/ictnetworldltd.com\/newvor\/#\/schema\/person\/image\/\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/cd607f124d89a2e9ee3bcd1565b126ea93e9164bf63a6d09fa320f456a4e9425?s=96&d=mm&r=g\",\"contentUrl\":\"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/cd607f124d89a2e9ee3bcd1565b126ea93e9164bf63a6d09fa320f456a4e9425?s=96&d=mm&r=g\",\"caption\":\"admin\"},\"sameAs\":[\"http:\/\/ictnetworldltd.com\/newvor\"],\"url\":\"http:\/\/ictnetworldltd.com\/newvor\/author\/admin\/\"}]}<\/script>\n<!-- \/ Yoast SEO plugin. -->","yoast_head_json":{"title":"The power of saying \u2018I am sorry\u2019 - Voice of Reason","robots":{"index":"index","follow":"follow","max-snippet":"max-snippet:-1","max-image-preview":"max-image-preview:large","max-video-preview":"max-video-preview:-1"},"canonical":"http:\/\/ictnetworldltd.com\/newvor\/2021\/11\/08\/the-power-of-saying-i-am-sorry\/","og_locale":"en_US","og_type":"article","og_title":"The power of saying \u2018I am sorry\u2019 - Voice of Reason","og_description":"By Martins Oloja As it is now quite clear that our present crop of leaders at all levels may have hardened their…","og_url":"http:\/\/ictnetworldltd.com\/newvor\/2021\/11\/08\/the-power-of-saying-i-am-sorry\/","og_site_name":"Voice of Reason","article_published_time":"2021-11-08T04:53:33+00:00","article_modified_time":"2022-08-11T20:16:07+00:00","og_image":[{"width":375,"height":210,"url":"http:\/\/ictnetworldltd.com\/newvor\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/11\/BA78FBD7-F50F-428D-9606-B6F8CF0E5AC5.png","type":"image\/png"}],"author":"admin","twitter_card":"summary_large_image","twitter_misc":{"Written by":"admin","Est. reading time":"9 minutes"},"schema":{"@context":"https:\/\/schema.org","@graph":[{"@type":"WebPage","@id":"http:\/\/ictnetworldltd.com\/newvor\/2021\/11\/08\/the-power-of-saying-i-am-sorry\/","url":"http:\/\/ictnetworldltd.com\/newvor\/2021\/11\/08\/the-power-of-saying-i-am-sorry\/","name":"The power of saying \u2018I am sorry\u2019 - Voice of Reason","isPartOf":{"@id":"http:\/\/ictnetworldltd.com\/newvor\/#website"},"primaryImageOfPage":{"@id":"http:\/\/ictnetworldltd.com\/newvor\/2021\/11\/08\/the-power-of-saying-i-am-sorry\/#primaryimage"},"image":{"@id":"http:\/\/ictnetworldltd.com\/newvor\/2021\/11\/08\/the-power-of-saying-i-am-sorry\/#primaryimage"},"thumbnailUrl":"http:\/\/ictnetworldltd.com\/newvor\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/11\/BA78FBD7-F50F-428D-9606-B6F8CF0E5AC5.png","datePublished":"2021-11-08T04:53:33+00:00","dateModified":"2022-08-11T20:16:07+00:00","author":{"@id":"http:\/\/ictnetworldltd.com\/newvor\/#\/schema\/person\/91559f4e2f3e76b97df68b1ffb23afa4"},"breadcrumb":{"@id":"http:\/\/ictnetworldltd.com\/newvor\/2021\/11\/08\/the-power-of-saying-i-am-sorry\/#breadcrumb"},"inLanguage":"en-US","potentialAction":[{"@type":"ReadAction","target":["http:\/\/ictnetworldltd.com\/newvor\/2021\/11\/08\/the-power-of-saying-i-am-sorry\/"]}]},{"@type":"ImageObject","inLanguage":"en-US","@id":"http:\/\/ictnetworldltd.com\/newvor\/2021\/11\/08\/the-power-of-saying-i-am-sorry\/#primaryimage","url":"http:\/\/ictnetworldltd.com\/newvor\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/11\/BA78FBD7-F50F-428D-9606-B6F8CF0E5AC5.png","contentUrl":"http:\/\/ictnetworldltd.com\/newvor\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/11\/BA78FBD7-F50F-428D-9606-B6F8CF0E5AC5.png","width":375,"height":210},{"@type":"BreadcrumbList","@id":"http:\/\/ictnetworldltd.com\/newvor\/2021\/11\/08\/the-power-of-saying-i-am-sorry\/#breadcrumb","itemListElement":[{"@type":"ListItem","position":1,"name":"Home","item":"http:\/\/ictnetworldltd.com\/newvor\/"},{"@type":"ListItem","position":2,"name":"The power of saying \u2018I am sorry\u2019"}]},{"@type":"WebSite","@id":"http:\/\/ictnetworldltd.com\/newvor\/#website","url":"http:\/\/ictnetworldltd.com\/newvor\/","name":"Voice of Reason","description":"Your No. 1 Source of Mind Blowing Articles","potentialAction":[{"@type":"SearchAction","target":{"@type":"EntryPoint","urlTemplate":"http:\/\/ictnetworldltd.com\/newvor\/?s={search_term_string}"},"query-input":"required name=search_term_string"}],"inLanguage":"en-US"},{"@type":"Person","@id":"http:\/\/ictnetworldltd.com\/newvor\/#\/schema\/person\/91559f4e2f3e76b97df68b1ffb23afa4","name":"admin","image":{"@type":"ImageObject","inLanguage":"en-US","@id":"http:\/\/ictnetworldltd.com\/newvor\/#\/schema\/person\/image\/","url":"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/cd607f124d89a2e9ee3bcd1565b126ea93e9164bf63a6d09fa320f456a4e9425?s=96&d=mm&r=g","contentUrl":"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/cd607f124d89a2e9ee3bcd1565b126ea93e9164bf63a6d09fa320f456a4e9425?s=96&d=mm&r=g","caption":"admin"},"sameAs":["http:\/\/ictnetworldltd.com\/newvor"],"url":"http:\/\/ictnetworldltd.com\/newvor\/author\/admin\/"}]}},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/ictnetworldltd.com\/newvor\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1975","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/ictnetworldltd.com\/newvor\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/ictnetworldltd.com\/newvor\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/ictnetworldltd.com\/newvor\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/ictnetworldltd.com\/newvor\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1975"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"http:\/\/ictnetworldltd.com\/newvor\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1975\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":3194,"href":"http:\/\/ictnetworldltd.com\/newvor\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1975\/revisions\/3194"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/ictnetworldltd.com\/newvor\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/3193"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/ictnetworldltd.com\/newvor\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1975"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/ictnetworldltd.com\/newvor\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1975"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/ictnetworldltd.com\/newvor\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1975"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}